What is going on in our world, people? What was going through this guys head as he peered out his window and said to himself, "Hey, that picnic table reminds me of my ex-girlfriend, I think I will have sex with it, it'll be like old times". I had to double check the site I found this on ( I was hoping I stumbled upon an Onion story or something). Nope--true stuff.
For the record, staff here at Steakmatters in no way, shape or form condone sexual relations with picnic tables (or any other household items).
In addition to the article, I've posted the comments as well--these people need blogs!! Funny stuff, they actually defend him.
Man caught having sex with table gets 6 months
Posted: Sunday, June 22, 2008 at 6:11 p.m.BELLEVUE, OH -- Police say a man was arrested after admitting to, and being caught on DVD having sex with his picnic table repeatedly.
Investigators say they received a tip that Art Price Jr., 40, of 146 Brinker St. in Bellevue was having sex with a picnic table while outside on the deck. The incidents occurred between January and March 2008.
Police say on March 13, the tipster dropped off three DVDs which showed Price in the act. On four occasions, Price is seen naked and masturbating in the rear room near the open doorway; he then comes out to the deck. He tilts the metal round picnic table on its side and lays up against it and has sexual intercourse with the table. Afterwards he cleans the table and the deck.
Police say the the incidents occurred close to Ridge Elementary School.
On March 20 Huron County prosecutors met with investigating officers and were shown the DVDs. Later that day, Price was brought in for questioning.
Police say that during questioning, Price admitted he had sex with the picnic table. He also confirmed the incidents caught on the DVD and admitted to having sex with the table inside his home.
On June 18, 2008, Price pleaded 'no contest' to disseminating harmful material to juveniles and public indecency. According the the Huron County Department of Corrections, he was sentenced to six months in jail.
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Chacmool
What about splinters?
An ottoman maybe, but a table?
Where's this guy's taste?
— Luis Castrillo, New Orleans
What is wrong with this picture?
What happened to what you do in the privacy of your own home is your business. Grant you what he was doing with the picnic table is not normal but this man was on his own property at his own home. The neighbors sound like they have to much time on their hands and were invading his privacy. May be he should start filming them at thier house. Now they have tarnished this man by invading his privacy.
— K C, Swanton
table sex
You have got to be kidding me! The man is recorded in his house and he comes outside and says he tilted the table and did his business. What could anyone see??????
The person recording this should be prosecuted!!! He is the freak! He has 4 dvd's of this guy? hmmmm ya think after the first one, he would have contacted the authorities. Maybe he was jealous of the table? Maybe he wanted the lovin' lol!!!
— Ida LeDeau, montana
Government Gone Amok
Is this a "victim-less crime"? Or, are we protecting the "rights" of a table?
Come on, people. Let's count what's wrong with this picture: 1) man in own home and yard engaging in sexual activity is observed by neighbor (or some voyeur), 2) voyeur video-records man without man's consent, 3) law enforcement officer arrests man for "public indecency", 4) judge allows plea bargain for man, doesn't require prosecution of voyeur, 5) no public outrage ensues as man is sentenced.
Don't you expect privacy? Do you really believe this is what our government should be doing with your tax dollars?
— Alan Dontella, Fairborne
OMG
OMG
— Eve Torres, Lincoln Nebraska
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
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10 comments:
How did you manage to get through the whole picnic table sex article without somehow blaming Hillary?
Damnit! Good point! I'm sure it was the Right Wing Conspiracy that made him do it!
I suppose as my 38th birthday slowly approaches I'm becoming more congenial.
It's either that or she has somehow become irrelevant.
Regardless, thanks for reminding me of my contempt for her. I'll be sure to fit it into my next post.
BTW--I didnt blame her for all of Obama's recent flip-flops, or for assorted Congressman taking sweetheart deals from sub-prime mortgage companies. I guess I'm slipping...
38 wow you are pretty cynical for such a young person.
Hillary will never be irrelevant.
Well it goes without saying that you believe it's her fault for the biased comments about democrats.
Kind of like "you understood" in the english language.
Perhaps I'm a cynic because I endured 8 years of her and her crook husband. It has nothing to do with being a Democrat or a Republican.
A liar is a liar is a liar.
I have no problem with "Democrats"--I have D's as friends and R's as friends.
I would like to seek clarification of your comment, however: "her fault for the biased comments about democrats". Whose comments? Mine?
If so, I've been critical of W. on here, I've been critical of McCain, I've been critical of Obama.
So, was that comment just a page out of your liberal talking points...or were you making a specific point?
You understood? Lost me on that one---I guess it depends on what is, is.
--G
The You understood is meant as a reference to how when speaking you often don't say "you" it's just understood. I was referring to your writing style being one where the hating on Hillary was just understood.
You may have been critical of your Republican brethren but your outright loathing of Hillary is obvious.
One last point - when Bill lied no one died.
Wow! Before I comment, can i get you some ice for your drink? Clearly, as you type, you're sipping the Kool-Aid!
As for the profound observation that I don't "like" Hillary, congrats on breaking that code! I thought for sure my subtle inferences of my disdain would go unnoticed! Of course I don't like her, Mr/Mrs Obvious. If it is implied in my writing, it is not by accident. Clearly it is by design. Again, 007, thanks for making that abundantly clear.
Lastly, as for your when Bill lied no one died comment, that warrants a post on its own, and I pledge to work on that post-haste.
Clearly we do not agree on alot, but we appreciate you reading, nonetheless. Moreover, thanks for very vividly illustrating my point about the blindness of liberals--but I've taken up too much of your time already--as I'm sure you have to do some walking door-to-door for Congressman Kucinich this evening. Be safe.
--G
Why the venom? Focus on the things that matter like electing a real leader and protector of the people - ralphnader08.org
- the anti-hillary
dgVenom? You havent seen venom. Thanks for the advice, I need the focus.
I respect Ralph Nader for what he is, but he has no prayer.
Stories like this make you long for the days of Marc Dann.
Nothing could make me long for the days of Marc Dann!! Well...this IS pretty damn close, I'll give you that.
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